It's MONDAY!!!!! For many of us today is the first day of the working week and some of you have already begun fantasizing about Friday afternoon =(
What negatives can we turn into positives, given this new 5 day start? What fears can we triumph over in the face of our dreams? Before getting out of bed I laid in the still of the morning hours and prayed. I asked God to maintain my integrity and strengthen it in the face of adversity. I prayed for courage, to move past all of the confusion, and I prayed for a great week for my family and myself...especially my 4 year old (her new favorite thing to say is "I'm having a bad day" curse you Alexander and the terrible horrible very bad day, that book will disappear from her reading material, immediately).
I got out of bed filled with purpose, feeling great. As the time passed along my mind started to fill up with the usual negative self-talk. I looked at the clock 4:53am and I started to feel anxious because if I did not leave the house by 5am I would be late for work. I could not decide which pair of shoes to wear so I woke my husband up and asked him, of course he chose the pair I did not want to wear, so I chose the pair I wanted to wear.
5:08am and I'm in the kitchen throwing a lunch together (should have prepared last night). 5:14am and I'm starting the car up and yes, it's inevitable, I need gas (should have did this yesterday). I'm passing gas stations with ridiculous prices. Finally I see $3.23 a gallon if paying in cash and $3.28 with credit. I have no cash on me! Still running late for work and the anxious feeling won't go away. I only wanted to put $20.00 worth of gas in thinking this would give me at least four gallons of gas and this could get me to and from work.
All of a sudden I take my hand off the gas pump at exactly $20.00 (what are the chances, this rarely happens) and I get 6 gallons of gas, this has put me back in a good mood. Then as I get in the car I realize today is my early day. I don't have to be to work until 6:30am and I get off at 3:00pm, this means I'm right on time. I got to work 9 minutes early, 6:21am!
L-E-S-S-O-N LEARNED:
I cannot START my day off with a prayer that asks God to step in and wipe the fear out of my life when I still manage to hold on to that same fear. It's like I'm telling God that I trust him BUT there are conditions to the trust. God is EVERYTHING to me and this means there are no conditions either I trust or I keep it moving and I don't think I am capable of living a life without God.
While driving to work I usually listen to Steve Harvey's words of inspiration, this morning instead of speaking for his usual 12 minutes he played a song by Kirk Franklin and as usual it made a few tears come out. In starting this week off I am not only thankful to be alive I am thankful to be able to keep trying. I don't believe in giving up on what I know to be true. All of these crazy little thoughts and dreams that won't seem to just go AWAY, these are the pieces that help to make up my future and my future is TRUE!
Kirk Franklin: Before I Die
What negatives can we turn into positives, given this new 5 day start? What fears can we triumph over in the face of our dreams? Before getting out of bed I laid in the still of the morning hours and prayed. I asked God to maintain my integrity and strengthen it in the face of adversity. I prayed for courage, to move past all of the confusion, and I prayed for a great week for my family and myself...especially my 4 year old (her new favorite thing to say is "I'm having a bad day" curse you Alexander and the terrible horrible very bad day, that book will disappear from her reading material, immediately).
I got out of bed filled with purpose, feeling great. As the time passed along my mind started to fill up with the usual negative self-talk. I looked at the clock 4:53am and I started to feel anxious because if I did not leave the house by 5am I would be late for work. I could not decide which pair of shoes to wear so I woke my husband up and asked him, of course he chose the pair I did not want to wear, so I chose the pair I wanted to wear.
5:08am and I'm in the kitchen throwing a lunch together (should have prepared last night). 5:14am and I'm starting the car up and yes, it's inevitable, I need gas (should have did this yesterday). I'm passing gas stations with ridiculous prices. Finally I see $3.23 a gallon if paying in cash and $3.28 with credit. I have no cash on me! Still running late for work and the anxious feeling won't go away. I only wanted to put $20.00 worth of gas in thinking this would give me at least four gallons of gas and this could get me to and from work.
All of a sudden I take my hand off the gas pump at exactly $20.00 (what are the chances, this rarely happens) and I get 6 gallons of gas, this has put me back in a good mood. Then as I get in the car I realize today is my early day. I don't have to be to work until 6:30am and I get off at 3:00pm, this means I'm right on time. I got to work 9 minutes early, 6:21am!
L-E-S-S-O-N LEARNED:
I cannot START my day off with a prayer that asks God to step in and wipe the fear out of my life when I still manage to hold on to that same fear. It's like I'm telling God that I trust him BUT there are conditions to the trust. God is EVERYTHING to me and this means there are no conditions either I trust or I keep it moving and I don't think I am capable of living a life without God.
While driving to work I usually listen to Steve Harvey's words of inspiration, this morning instead of speaking for his usual 12 minutes he played a song by Kirk Franklin and as usual it made a few tears come out. In starting this week off I am not only thankful to be alive I am thankful to be able to keep trying. I don't believe in giving up on what I know to be true. All of these crazy little thoughts and dreams that won't seem to just go AWAY, these are the pieces that help to make up my future and my future is TRUE!
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